I’m new to this whole blogging thing, but I thought it would be a good way to get out all of my dating frustrations and give other people a chance to laugh at the ridiculous things that happen. I figure a good way to start is by telling you a little about myself. I am a shy girl. I have always been shy. As my mom tells it, as a baby in my stroller, I was shy if anyone came up to “ooohhh” and “aaahhh” at me. Shyness is something that non-shy people don’t understand. I don’t choose to be this way, it’s not me being anti-social, it’s just who I am. Some girls are completely comfortable going up to a group of guys and starting a conversation. I am not one of those girls. I envy those girls. I am friends with some of those girls. I think that is part of what got me here; just about to hit my mid-30s and still single.

I look around and see friends my age married with families, or just starting them. I would give anything to be in that same place. My only long-term relationship was in high school/college. We were together for just short of 5 years. I ended things just after college graduation because I realized that he was not the right person for me. A big part of my life, since I was 5, is figure skating. He was not supportive of that. I don’t just mean that he wouldn’t come see me skate, because I honestly couldn’t care less about that. I mean he was actually upset when I told him that I made the synchronized skating team that I had tried out for, because he thought that this “skating thing” would end after college. There were a lot of reasons that we weren’t right together anymore, but that was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Still doing that skating thing

After college I moved home and got a job and thought I had all the time in the world to find my soulmate. I didn’t consider online dating at the time; I figured that would come later if I didn’t find someone in a bar or through a friend or randomly walking down the street. I enjoyed my twenties. I went out with friends, I skated on my team, when people asked me why I was single I made excuses that work kept me too busy or that I was living at home. Those were lies. If someone had come along, I would have made time and it wouldn’t have mattered where I lived. Those were just the most convenient excuses, made by the shy girl who never had anyone come up to her at a bar and ask for her number. I ended up dabbling a little in online dating. I tried eHarmony, and got annoyed by the amount of time it took to actually get to open communication. I think my whole subscription yielded 1 date, and that didn’t work out. I tried Match and didn’t have much success there either.

In my late-20s I bought a condo and started living on my own for the first time ever. I loved the independence and the solitude! That was around the same time I started seeing everyone getting married. Not only my close friends, but also acquaintances on facebook. I started wondering where the right guy for me was, and how I would meet him. I went to a psychic. She told me that I wasn’t going to find him, he was going to find me. She said that I was going to be 30, almost 31, when I met him, and that I wasn’t going to meet him online. What a great relief for me! Except that it never happened.

I think, now that I’m in my 30s, I’m actually having more fun than I did when I was in my 20s. I am more confident and comfortable, and I even push myself to be more outgoing. It doesn’t mean that I’m not the same shy girl inside, because I definitely am, but I also know it’s not going to help me in the dating world. I now know what I want and, more importantly, what I don’t. I know who I am and have a good sense of self-worth. I don’t want to dupe anyone or waste anyone’s time, and I expect the same in return. I’m just a girl, looking for the guy who will make all of this waiting make sense.

My 30th Birthday