I do not enjoy these first stages of dating.  I would 100% much rather be IN a relationship.  Trying to figure out what to wear, worrying about making a good first impression, wondering if you’re even going to like this person or if they’re going to like you; it’s not fun.  I don’t want to do it.  But it’s a necessary evil to get to the next stage.  So having 2 first dates in one week?  It’s not really at the top of my list of fun things to do, but sometimes when it rains it pours.

I had been talking to one guy, Shorty.  This name was given to him by friends, as I was a little apprehensive about responding to him since the height listed in his profile was the same as mine.  There is nothing wrong with that but (personal hang-up) it just makes me a little uncomfortable when I am taller than my date.  I forced myself to get over the height issue and we had some good conversations.  Soon we were texting.  I had a little bit of a busy week, so we had to delay meeting.  In the meantime another guy, we’ll call him Gretzky (yes, another hockey player!), started messaging me.  He asked when we could meet up.  I felt a little bad because I had been talking with Shorty for about a week and thought that maybe I should give him first dibs on a date, but he hadn’t really asked when I was free.  I asked a friend for her opinion and she told me that if Gretzky had his stuff together enough to ask me out first, he should get dibs.  I told him that I was available Tuesday or Thursday, and he chose Tuesday.  So when Shorty finally asked me when I was free, I told him Thursday.

Going into the week I wasn’t sure what to expect.  Over the course of our texting, Gretzky and I hadn’t really dived too deep in the conversation.  Shorty and I had been texting for longer, so we knew a little more about each other.  I thought that I might end up having more in common with him, but I went into both dates with an open mind.  Tuesday night I met up with Gretzky and it was clear pretty quickly that we had a lot in common.  I made mention of Disneyland’s 60th Anniversary and just his “yup” response made me take note because it seemed like he knew this information before I said it.  And my suspicions were confirmed when he told me that he is a big Disney fan!  We talked about vacations and families and work and all the normal first date things.  We laughed a lot and, before I knew it, it had been 3 ½ hours and it was definitely time to leave!  He walked me to my car and asked if we could get together again.  I didn’t even hesitate and said yes.  When I got home, I texted him and thanked him for a great night.  This is kind of a test for myself.  If I go out with someone and don’t feel any urge to text them afterwards, then I know for sure that I’m not interested.

I’ve had friends who have made dates with someone just only to have that someone cancel at the last minute because they went on another date and had a connection with that person.  I think this is horrible.  There was no way I was going to do that to Shorty.  Sure, I got a big smile on my face when Gretzky texted me, but who knows?  Maybe I was going to like Shorty even more!  Okay, so maybe it was bad news that I was texting with Gretzky right before meeting up with Shorty, but I was still determined to give him a fair shot.

I had a very nice time.  We had a good conversation about all those same normal first date things.  It had been a little under 2 hours when he asked if I was ready to call it a night.  We said good night and went our separate ways.  I did not have the urge to text him.  I realized that, even though the date had been not all that dissimilar from the one with Gretzky, I just didn’t feel any spark there.  He was nice, I had a nice time, but that’s where it was going to end.  Shorty texted me that night when I got home asking if we could get together again.  I was honest and direct and let him know that I had a nice time, but that I hadn’t found what I was looking for, and wished him luck.  He never responded.

I’m not saying that if you have multiple first dates in a week that you have to pick the best one and continue on with only that person.  By all means, date multiple people at once.  That situation doesn’t work for me personally; I’d rather focus on one relationship at a time.  As much of a pain as it can be, I guess having two first dates in one week really helped to give me perspective.   I think that if I hadn’t gone out with Gretzky, and had only met up with Shorty, I may have gone out with him for a second time.  But I’m also pretty certain that it would have ended the same way it did with Disney Drew…but that’s a story for another time!