Hello, World! It’s been a while. I have a good excuse, though. I haven’t been able to write about crazy dating stories because I’ve been happily in a relationship for the past year! Yes, cue the “awwwww”s. I assumed no one wants to read about someone who is happy, so I let this fall by the wayside. I’m not so sure I will continue after this post, but I figured, at the very least, an update was in order.
I met Sean online or, rather, he found me there. He sent me a message accusing me of stealing his profile. The opening paragraph of my profile was a description of the man I was looking for. Actually, I presented it as the attributes of my “lost” best friend. That was his cute (at least I thought it was cute!) way of telling me he exhibited all of those qualities. Such a better first message than “how’s your week going”, or “hi beautiful”, or some other kind of lame come on. After catching my eye with that message proving he looked at my profile, I checked out his profile and I was interested. Noting that he was an English teacher, I responded with feigned embarrassment of him catching my “plagiarism”. I thought it was clever!
We exchanged numbers after an acceptable amount of time communicating through the dating site. Looking back on our first text messages, Sean pointed out that he texted me around 7 at night and I didn’t respond until about 8 the next morning! I guess that was me playing hard to get. I remember him asking if I was a Patriots fan and, after saying yes, him responding that it would have been a deal breaker. I told him it would have been for me too! It didn’t take long for Sean to suggest we meet in person. We made a plan to meet up in a few days and then he said “OK great see you then”. In my head I was thinking “oh, so I guess we’re not going to talk until then?” We didn’t. Though he did check with me the day of the date to make sure we were still on.
He earned some major points that night because he got to the restaurant early (always a plus in my eyes). His favorite story from that night is when I told I had just finished a Jodi Picoult book, and he told me he loves her. He likes to say that I gave him a skeptical “you’re full of shit” look, to which he proved himself by listing the books he’s read of hers. The conversation was very easy and he made me laugh a lot. I remember telling him how I was getting these spam calls that kept leaving voicemails about how there was a warrant out for my arrest and he said “that’s too bad because this seemed to be going really well”. I told him about my new job and leaving my old one he told me how fate and timing were important things. He walked me to my car and we hugged in the parking lot. I tell him this even now, the most lasting impression that night was that he was a great hugger. He hugs you like he means it. When I got home, I texted him right away to thank him again for the night which, as I’ve mentioned before, is my own personal test for if I’m interested in someone.
Sounds all wonderful, right? Sure. And then I didn’t hear from him for 2 days. All the old insecurities came back and I told my friends that maybe he just wasn’t interested. Obviously that wasn’t the case, or else this blog would have been written back then, with a very different ending! I did, finally, hear from him, and we went out again. And again and again and again… On our 3rd date we were talking about online dating horror stories and I told him about this blog. Of course I felt trepidation in telling him. I mean, we were on a date and I was writing a dating blog. But, proving the kind of guy he is, he thought it was great. He even wanted to be the subject of a post (good news, babe, you got your wish!).
Now, when I earned some major points with him (and his friends when he told them), was when I suggested we go to the Patriots Hall of Fame. For a couple of serious Pats fans, it was one of the best dates we’ve had. We spent hours combing through every exhibit. The only reason we ended up having to rush was because we were meeting my friend and her boyfriend for dinner (we probably would have spent another hour there at least). It was a pretty big deal, as it was the first time either of us was introducing the other to friends. After that night I kept steadily indoctrinating him into the skating family, yet it still took some time for him to introduce me to anyone he cared about. I gave him a hard time about this, saying I was clearly a secret, though I did believe him when he said it was just scheduling complications.
When he finally asked me to meet his brother and sister-in-law at dinner, I accepted and then upped the ante by inviting him to my church Bazaar, where a bunch of my family would be. Little did we know that, in only a couple of weeks, he would meet my whole family under some difficult circumstances. Before we get to that though, dinner with his brother and sister-in-law was great! Considering we had been dating for 3 months and these were the first of his “people” I was meeting, it really couldn’t have gone better. I felt at ease with them, and they were just as excited to meet me as I was to meet them.
Soon after that, Sean was leaving for a family wedding in Celebration, Florida and we hit our first bump in the road. His brother and sister-in-law were going to spend a day at Epcot and had asked if he wanted to join them. He said no. The Disney fanatic inside of me wanted to yell and ask what was wrong with him! The rational part of me let it go with just mild irritation, saying “well, it’s not what I would have done but to each their own.” And then I really had to tamp down that Disney fanatic when I realized it would be during the Food & Wine Festival! Then, before he left for the wedding, he very sweetly asked if he could refer to me as his girlfriend. It was adorable and just made my heart soar.
The day after he got back from his trip, I had to let him know that my grandmother was in the hospital. That night when I talked to him, he told me all he wanted to do was drive to me and give me a hug. That’s when I knew this was something special. Unfortunately, a few days later my grandmother passed away. Sean was the first person I called, the first one I wanted to talk to. He told me he had things to do after school, but would come over after that, if I wanted. He checked on me throughout the day, and even cancelled whatever he had after school. He met my parents for only the second time, brought flowers, and then met and made small talk with so much of my extended family. We had only been dating 3 ½ months, and this was not the way I envisioned him meeting my family; it was like throwing him to the wolves. My dad’s cousin walked in and said “who are you?” He got a bit flustered, I was going to answer, and then he said “I’m Erika’s friend”. I knew immediately that was the wrong thing to say, but I stayed out of it. He was going to have to sink or swim with my family! He did a good job and held his own. Though, after he did the same thing with another cousin, I told him he should just start referring to himself as my boyfriend!
Since then we’ve had a lot more ups than downs; I finally met all his people, he has come to all kinds of skating events, I let him read this blog (big step for me), we’ve spent holidays and birthdays together, we’ve planned trips (Disney for Food & Wine Festival!), and I even got to be there to support him last month when he spoke at graduation after being voted faculty speaker by his students. For our one year anniversary this week, Sean sent me beautiful flowers at work, and that night we went back to the scene of the crime. We met at the same restaurant where we had our first date, at the same time we met, a year ago. It wasn’t until we were walking in when I said “by the way, I’m wearing the same thing I wore last year” and he said “I am too”, that I realized how cheesy we are. I wouldn’t change it for anything!
Throughout all of my posts I feel like I always sum things up with a statement about waiting for the right one, or everything happening for a reason, or just some positive spin about how someday it will all be worthwhile. It’s impossible to know what the future holds for Sean and me. What I can say is that this feeling I have of love, peace, joy; it’s made all those past frustrations seem hazy, like they happened a lifetime ago. Sometimes it feels like it’s too good to be true, in the same way that it felt like my singledom was never going to end. But it is true, and it’s really all I’ve ever wanted; to be able to share the exciting and mundane aspects of my life with someone. It’s been a wonderful year, and I can’t wait to see what the future has in store.
Celebrating 1 year together