Recently I have had some very interesting online interactions. I believe in karma, and so I believe it’s important to be nice to people. If someone sends me a message on a dating site I try my best to respond to him, even if I’m not interested, if only to tell him that. Now, of course, this philosophy doesn’t include the “hi”, emoji, “you’re gorgeous”, or clearly copied and pasted messages that I receive. If someone displays to me that they have taken the time to actually read my profile and send me a well thought out message, I feel it is only proper to respond. But the stories I will share now make me have second thoughts about that.

A guy had sent me a message on a dating site, so I, in turn, checked out his profile.  Sure, the site had us at a low match percentage, but that doesn’t really matter to me, I like judge things for myself.  But when I looked at his profile I decided that I was not interested, I don’t really recall why.  I sent him a message letting him know.  I said something like “Thanks for the message, but I don’t think we’re a great match.  Good luck to you.”  Yes, I throw in “good luck” in a lot of these messages because I really do wish people the best in this jungle we call online dating.  I then received back the following message:

First of all, it’s “silly rabbit, Trix are for kids”.  What you said (along with your grammar) makes no sense.  Also, because I am not interested in you I am brainless and naïve?  I am so glad I didn’t waste my time trying to talk to you!

The day after this exchange, I got a message from another guy.  I went to his profile and was interested, but also confused.  His location said that he was 2 towns over from me, but his profile stated he was going to be in town for a week.  The rest of his profile looked like he was looking for something serious, so I wasn’t sure what the deal was.  I even sent screenshots of his profile to a couple of friends to get their take.  They were both equally as confused.  Well, I wrote him back and also told him my confusion.  He replied and told me that he would be in town for a week and a half, that he actually lives in Cincinnati, but that while he was here he was going on some interviews so Boston could be his next home.  My response was “Good luck with the interviewing!  I’m not looking for a hookup.”  And his response:

So apparently it’s a bad thing that I was clear about what I want and don’t want.  I was just trying to be honest, and now I’m judgmental.

Another time, I received a message from someone, and I responded.  We had a couple of messages back and forth but, at the same time, I was trying to work on a project.  He asked me where I was from originally and I told him.  I asked him the same, and he told me that he grew up in Brazil.  Well, I didn’t get back to his message as I got caught up working on my project.  By the time I did get back to it I had also received the following:

Those are some seriously harsh words!!!  I was blown away.  It was not my intention to stop talking to him after he told me he was from Brazil, but after he flew off the handle like that, I saw no need to explain my position.

Probably the most ridiculous story was one night when I started talking to someone online.  From his brief profile and few pictures he seemed like a nice guy.  Right off the bat he complimented me, so that was very nice.  And then I got this rapid succession of messages:

Figuring he was joking with the first message (as the second one mentioned his sense of humor), I opted to ask how he sprained his ankle.  He then asked if I wasn’t going to answer the question or “are you super sweet and give me a shot before I put my foot in my mouth” (note: I realize there seems to be some broken English in his speech, but he is actually from this country!).   I asked if he was serious or joking and got this:

I told him that no, I am not in the business of using people’s bodies until I know them.  Then he told me he was on pain meds.  So I thought maybe I should give him a break.  This was a mistake, but it does make for a hell of a tale!  He asked me if he offended me and said he hoped not.  I told him I wasn’t offended but, just to be upfront, I am looking for something more than skin deep.  He did not know what skin deep meant, and then proceeded to tell me that he was currently interviewing and living at his parents “estate”.  So I broke it down to “so you’re unemployed and living at home.”  He started to write this big story about how he had been on his own since he was 18 (now 35) and had been in New York, but had to come home.  He didn’t say why, I didn’t ask.

Again, I felt like maybe he was being a little crass (I feel like I should be spoken to in a more respectful manner), but deep down was potentially a good guy.  So I told him to be himself, maybe stop talking about his dick, because I’m a good girl and I’m looking for something more serious.  Then he asked me if I would date a guy with a 2” penis.  Hmmm, what happened to it being huge??  At this point, he was definitely not getting anywhere with me, but I had to see what other outlandish things he was going to say.  I told him that I enjoy a good laugh but I don’t know him, he doesn’t know me, I have no idea if he’s being serious or trying to be funny.  He then told me that he was trying to say things to me in the most respectful way possible, but with some humor!!  I think we have very different ideas about respectful!  He told me I’m a sweetheart and I shouldn’t be single (I totally agree!).  He said he wants a woman to fall asleep on his chest on the couch.  So here he is kind of being sweet.  And then:

And that was the last I wrote to him.  I didn’t even respond when he asked me if we could go on a date!  I don’t know if he thought he was sweet talking me or what.  Through all these interactions it’s very difficult to keep hope alive that the right guy is out there.  But here I am, still hoping, trying to weed through all these frogs in order to find my prince!